Anne Boleyn: From Queen to History

London, where do I even begin? I’ve been meaning to write this entry for a while now but every time I think about it I just don’t know where to start. London was……. God what was it? It was a life changing experience. It was one of those moments in your life that you will never forget, that I will never forget. It was two weeks that changed my life completely, turned everything upside down, shook it around and left me with such amazing clarity and determination. It was everything I needed in my life and more.

Going to London reconfirmed a sense of independence that I thought I had lost. I had become so reliant on Peter by my side that I had forgotten what a strong, confidant and powerful woman I am. And YES I will say those things because I believe they are true. Going to London I had to catch flights by myself, transfer in a foreign country, land in another country halfway around the world in another hemisphere. I had to go through strange airports, get on trains I’d never ridden before, find my way through strange streets to get to myself – and that’s even before my first day! I planned my holiday, going to the attractions, seeing the sites, getting on the trains, finding food, learning a new currency all by myself. And you know what I can now say? I fucking mastered the Tube so well that I could tell you how to get to one place from another with my eyes closed! I did it all by myself! Hell I caught four trains and a taxi just to GET to Hever Castle, and then I had to catch a taxi and another four trains to get back to my hotel! It was not something you can just do, you have to plan and it takes a fuck load of confidence to trek off around a country you don’t know! I proved to myself that I AM a strong, capable, confidant, powerful woman in my own right!

I think the most life changing experience happened to me at The Tower of London. Praying at Anne Boleyn’s grave was…… I don’t even have words for how awe inspiring, breathtaking and life changing it was. Obviously you cannot pray right at her grave as the whole area is partitioned off, but you can sit in the seats and kneel at the pews. I knelt at the very front pew, as close to her as I could get and I simply prayed. I’m never going to tell anyone what I prayed, what I said to Anne that is just between her and me, but that day I made her a promise. A promise that I will work hard every day to keep. I know that I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, I fall, but the main thing is that I try and keep myself true to that promise I made Anne Boleyn – my idol and hero.
And I know that what I say next many won’t believe, hell my own husband laughs at me when I mention it but I don’t care. I SAW Anne Boleyn herself. I SAW her figure in the Beauchamp Tower from the top window looking down at me. It was only for a few seconds but I KNOW in my heart that I saw her. It was about 5pm, getting dark and I was leaving the Tower but as I walked past the Beauchamp Tower something told me to look up in the top window and there she was, in shadow, looking down at me. Then she was gone, as brief and as simple as that, but it was her. I don’t fucking care what anyone says I KNOW I SAW ANNE BOLEYN! That… that to me was everything. She knows what I prayed, she heard it, and she will be watching to make sure I keep true to my promise. And I will.

Now I’m crying – even recalling such a powerful moment brings tears to my eyes. That was the experience I had at the Tower of London. But Hampton Court and Hever Castle were exactly the same. I felt Anne there. For example in Hampton Court I looked up at one set of windows and knew they has something to do with Anne. I asked one of the information people there and he told me that they were Anne Boleyn’s rooms! How did I know? Why was I drawn to those particular windows? Who knows, maybe it was Anne, maybe it was just intuition. But the same thing happened at Hever Castle, I was drawn to look at a certain part of the castle and what did I find out? It was the very room Anne lived in. I’m drawn to Anne Boleyn as simple as that. I don’t know why, I don’t know for what reason, all I know is that I’m drawn to her. I made her a promise and I will never break it.

London changed my life; it changed who I am as a woman, a wife, a mother and a friend. I think I have come back to Australia a better person for it. I know that I’m not perfect, I never will be, for goodness sake I have Borderline Personality Disorder, which right there means I’ll never be perfect! I will stumble, I will fall and I will cry BUT I will ALWAYS pick myself up again. I will always dust myself off take a deep breath and keep on walking that walk of life. I have people to live for now, the most amazing, understanding husband in the world and the most beautiful little girl who needs me, who needs her mum and will always need her mum. If nothing else she needs me and I need her. I love my family to the end of this world and back, I love my friends and my life. I have so much to live for, so much to be happy about and so very very much to learn. And I can do all of that because I am a strong, confidant woman. London and Anne taught me that.

Note: This is a piece that I wrote myself, as though I were Anne writing a letter. It is pure and utter fiction!

Anne Boleyn wrote many letters in her life. Some of those were to her father and family, some to Ladies and noblewomen of the court, some regarding positions and status and other such courtly matters; but the most important letters, those that meant the most to her she wrote to her King and her love. Of these letters, the ones that she held closest to her heart Anne wrote many. Some of these letters she would write in times of happiness, when she felt not even God above could touch the joy she felt. But others, the greatest number of her letters, she would write in times of loss or loneliness or when she felt she could no longer continue on alone. This is one of those letters.

Your Majesty, My King, My Sovereign Lord, my guide, my comfort, my greatest love,

It has been three weeks since I have laid eyes upon your most glorious presence – three weeks which have felt like three long months. I am stuck here at Hampton attending to matters of court and of the great country of England while you are serving your Royal duties at Whitehall.  While I do not begrudge my responsibilities, for it was you my most gracious King who gave me these duties, I will freely admit that my heart misses thee. I feel in this time that I am no Queen or Lady of importance; I am but a lowly woman whose heart aches for he whom I miss the most. If it is a sign of weakness to miss thee then I will loudly announce that I am a weak woman for my heart aches to see you again.

With each rising and setting of the sun another day passes without your presence and I feel as though I come another day closer to madness. At times I fear it is only the memory of your comforting touch against my skin or the bright smile upon your full lips that hold me back from tumbling over the edge of oblivion. And it is in my lowest times, when my heart aches for you the most that I try to recall these memories, these livid pictures in my mind to keep my sanity stable.

I know that I must be strong without you, to stand tall and proud and represent your most holy name in all that I do, to be the Queen in which you made me, and perhaps upon the surface I reflect this. To others I nod and greet warmly, I laugh and joke and yet like the still surface of a lake, underneath my soul ripples like the tide.  I do most humbly believe that God above, our most gracious and loving God has bound our souls together like a rope entwined and bound for all eternity.

I can only beg thee to return to my most welcoming arms, that mine eyes will be cast upon thee sooner rather than later. For I fear I do not know how much longer I will be able to endure this painful loneliness, how much longer I can continue without bathing in your most warm and loving presence. With all my heart, all my soul and every part of my humble being I beg thee to return to my arms, that once more I may be able to know my King and my greatest love as I have done so before.

But if I were to die a thousand deaths my love for you would not abate one jot. My heart would beat always for thee and my last breath would bear your name. For I was, am and will always be your most humble and loving servant.

Your most loyal and ever faithful wife,

Anne the Queen

I am struggling to find the words to even begin to describe Westminster Abby. It is so much more impressive and spectacular than I could ever have imagined. I actually thought it was first and foremost a church with several tombs inside, but really it is just one giant crypt. There are hundreds of people buried throughout different parts of the church with dedications and tombs to these people in every place you look.

The building itself is absolutely STUNNING! My breath was taken away the moment that I entered the building. Unfortunately you are not allowed to take photos inside the church, which is a complete shame because I probably would have taken a thousand photos - the architecture is just that spectacular.

I decided to take the audio tour of the Abby, usually I don’t do that because they are so boring, but this was incredibly interesting. The Abby itself is hundreds upon hundreds of years old dating back to the 10th century. It’s actually quite a spooky place, tombs and monuments to dead King’s and Queen’s and people of noble birth in every place that you looked. There are so many interesting things to look at and explore.

My favourite part of the entire Abby is the Lady Chapel built by Henry VII. This part of the Abby is rich with Tudor history and everywhere you look you can see the signs of the Tudors. There are Tudor roses and Fleur de Lis’ everywhere. The place has a beautiful majestic reverence about it and it is quite humbling.

Queen Elizabeth I and her sister Mary I are buried together in this part of the Abby. There is a beautiful inscription on their tomb which Elizabeth had put there that says, “partners both in thrown and grave, here rest we two sisters, Elizabeth and Mary, in the hope of one Resurrection.” These words made me very teary, considering how different their religious beliefs were it was very touching that Elisabeth decided to be buried with her sister. They came from such a troubled, traumatic childhood, mothers who hated each other, Anne Boleyn whom despised Mary, Elizabeth daughter of Anne. It was a very touching inscription.

Mary Queen of Scots is also buried in the Lady Chapel on the opposite side to where Elisabeth I and Mary rest. Her monument is just as magnificent as the two sisters and is quite humbling. It showed the love that Elizabeth did have for her second cousin, but more so it showed the love that Mary’s son had for her.

Henry VII and his wife Elizabeth of York are also buried in the Lady Chapel. Their tomb is a magnificent bronze monument which is the centrepiece of the chapel. Apparently the likenesses of Henry VII and Elizabeth are very close to what the King and Queen actually looked like and they are very spooky to look upon.

It is also surprising to learn that Edward VI, Henry VIII’s son is also buried in the Lady Chapel, although there is no magnificent monument dedicated to him. Instead there is just a simple plaque on the floor with his name, date of birth and date of death. It’s sad to know that his father and mother and sisters had just spectacular monuments dedicated to their tombs and he has a simple slab on the floor.

I was also awed to see the Coronation Chair which has been used in the coronation of every King and Queen since 1308. It was really quite humbling to see such a chair of importance and to know how many royal and important figures sat upon that chair. Of course I thought of Henry VIII and Elizabeth I – two amazing figures in history. Again being so close to something of such rich Tudor history sent chills down my spine.

I’m REALLY glad that I went to Westminster Abby. It is a place of holy reverence that really humbles a person. Not just the spectacular tombs and the knowledge that so many important Kings and Queens and other people of noble birth are buried here – but also the architecture is just breathtaking. Magnificent high ceilings so intricately detailed, breathtaking stained glass windows, carved railings and walls – it is all so stunning!

I am now more sure than ever that I want my fourth tattoo to be a Tudor Rose. I have a fleur de lis on my left foot and I want a Tudor rose on my right foot.

Afterwards I walked past Big Ben and took lots of photos! I have to say that it is not as big as I thought it was going to be! The publicity photos make it out to be so much bigger. Still it is quite an impressive piece of architecture! It donged while I was there and made such a loud and awesome sound!

After the total spectacle of Westminster Abby I went to Tower Bridge. They have a little tour of the Bridge that you can do, walking up one tower, across the bridge high above the Thames and then down the second tower. It was only £7 so I thought I would take the walk. The view from the walkway joining the two towers is absolutely amazing!! I took photos from both the east and west walkways and also got some great photos of The Tower of London. It was a great walk and defiantly worth doing.

I am, I will admit, extremely exhausted. I think cramming so much into the last 13 days has really taken its tole on my body. I feel run down and all I want to do at the moment is sleep! Luckily I only have one more place that I want to go to and that’s the Museum of London. I think I will do that tomorrow and then on Wednesday I’ll spend the day sorting out the souvenirs that I haven’t sent home and packing for Thursday.

Note: 9C today – at least the sun was out!

Oh gosh Hever Castle is just STUNNING! First and foremost it is Anne Boleyn’s childhood home. Her grandfather bought it and her father made extensive renovations and extensions to the place. Anne probably wasn’t born there, but she defiantly spent the early years of her life there before she went to France and then once she returned to England she spent some time there while Henry VIII was courting her.

The Castle looks a lot bigger on the outside than it actually is on the inside. Inside it’s surprisingly small and I was a little taken back at first. But the place is absolutely breathtaking. Unfortunately you were not allowed to take pictures inside the castle, which is a shame. Although I did buy the guidebook and it does have a lot of beautiful pictures in there from inside the castle. I can understand why you could not take photos, a lot of the interior of the castle, the woodwork, paintings, stonework, fireplaces etc. etc. are original from the time of Anne herself! Oh god that nearly killed me with delight right there!

The castle itself is three floors, although the bottom two levels are the main levels of the castle. It was just… I can’t even begin to think of the words to describe the place. ANNE BOLEYN LIVED THERE! Not only that But Henry VIII himself visited Hever Castle on many occasions, holding council there, courting Anne… it was just incredible!

The room that touched me the most was Anne Boleyn’s bedroom. It was… so small, so quiet, so beautiful. Simple, tiny little room but it had been Anne’s room! Of course I just started to cry – I couldn’t help myself. I just burst into tears, leaning against the fireplace crying like a little baby. I was in Anne’s very room. Touching the fireplace that she probably touched, looking out the same window that she must have looked out of a hundred times. There was such an awe about the room – it was just incredible.

The other room that sent shivers down my spine was the room that held Anne’s two Books of Hours. These are two prayer books that belonged to Anne Boleyn. They were behind glass (of course) but god above I was only a few inches away from the books that Anne HELD! In one she had written “Les temps viendra, Je Anne Boleyn” which means: The time will come, I Anne Boleyn. I wonder if she knew her future when she wrote that? Either way it was very poignant and I had shivers running down my spine as I read it.

In the other Book of Hours, the one that is believed to have been taken with Anne  when she went to the tower, she wrote the phrase “Remember me when you do pray that hope doeth lead from day to day,. Anne Boleyn.” Once again I burst into tears when I read this… and I am actually crying now remembering her words. This was the last book Anne had with her in the tower, perhaps the last thing she ever wrote. I remember Anne, I will always remember.

After seeing Anne’s bedroom, then her two Books of Hours I went into Anna of Cleeve’s bed chambers. It was a simple room with a beautiful view overlooking the moat and entrance to the castle. After her marriage to Henry VIII was annulled, Henry gave Anna Hever Castle to live in. Apparently Anna loved Hever castle and spent quite some time there. I can see why she liked the place – it is exquisite.

I also saw the room in which Henry VIII would have stayed in when he was at Hever Castle – notably on the opposite side of the castle to Anne’s chamber! It was really quite regal and befitting a King. His bed was HUGE, with four posts, green and white hangings and rich thick white fur bedding. An interesting note was that wherever Henry went he brought his personal locksmith with him. He had all his own locks added to each door of every room so that he could not be attacked or assassinated in his sleep. They were pretty impressive locks! To be standing in the same room that King Henry VIII himself had slept in and spent time in was quite awe inspiring and made me feel pretty insignificant!

There was also an amazing display of Tudor portraits throughout the castle – the second biggest collection of Tudor portraits after The National Portrait Gallery. There were portraits of Anne, Henry, both of Henry’s parents and even Mary Boleyn (whom I had never seen a portrait of her before). There were also sketches of Anne, Jane and Anna of Cleves. It was a magnificent display.

The castle itself is beautiful and after inspecting every tiny detail I went for a walk in the gardens. The gardens and surrounding grounds weren’t established until 1904, so obviously the surrounding grounds would have looked VERY different in Anne’s day. Still, the gardens were just majestic and so peaceful and quite. It was a cold, foggy day and there was such a peace and calm about the gardens. I did a lot of thinking while I was walking around.

In the surrounding stream I saw two white swans swimming and searching for food together. I couldn’t help but smile. In the TV series The Tudors, Anne and Henry were depicted as two white swans… it made me think of Anne and the happier days she had led. Madly in love, the King as deep in love with her, having the rest of her life ahead of her, full of possibilities and wonders. She must have been so happy.

I took a LOT of photos of the outside of the castle and surrounding gardens. As I said it was unfortunate that I couldn’t take photos inside of the castle, but that is understandable as the constant flashes can damage the portraits and delicate furnishings.

I’m SO glad that I went to Hever Castle. Despite having to catch FOUR trains and a taxi to get there, and then a taxi and four trains to get back, it was most defiantly worth the trip. I can now say that I have stood in the room which Anne Boleyn slept in and spent so much time in. I have walked the same halls she has and looked out the same windows she did.

Note: It was fucking EIGHT degrees today! I was so bloody cold that I think I lost several toes due to frostbite! Although I cannot be sure because when I touched my feet I could not actually feel them they were beyond ice!

I went to the National Portrait Gallery today and naturally my first stop was the Tudor Gallery. Oh my god I could have spent hours in there. There were three rooms ranging from the early Tudor Period up to the rein of Queen Elisabeth I. I was blown away by the HUGE portrait of Queen Elizabeth I – she was wearing a white and gold dress, standing on a globe of the world. It was a stunning portrait and you can see from the portrait why the woman captivated an entire world. Although I will admit, since the portrait was done later in her reign Elisabeth is starting to look quite old and a little haggard. God it must have been so stressful to be the Queen of England. As I looked at the other portraits of Elisabeth, one of her during her middle years and one done a few days after she was crowned Queen of England I could not help but notice how much she looked like her mother. I really think she had Anne Boleyn’s facial features. She defiantly had her eyes and her lips, her nose and facial structure. The one thing of Henry’s that she defiantly did have was his hair – she had such rich red hair. She was such a beautiful woman like her mother.

And then when I walked into the next room that’s when I saw the portrait of Anne Boleyn. Oh God it was stunning! Queen Anne Boleyn! It was much smaller than I had expected it to be – but then I would have had a life sized portrait of her made! You know it’s quite funny, the woman that Henry loved so deeply, Anne and Katherine Howard, there are hardly any remaining portraits of them. In fact there is still controversy over if there is even a portrait or sketch of Katherine Howard left! Henry must have been such a bastard – one can only assume that he had all portraits and sketches of both wives destroyed after he had them executed.

But anyway, back to the portrait of Anne Boleyn… God above it was BEAUTIFUL! It was only small but it was there, only an inch in front of me. I looked into Anne’s eyes. Yes, I cried. And I don’t care what anyone thought of me, I don’t care if they thought me strange or funny to be standing in front of the portrait of Anne Boleyn crying. Anne Boleyn herself, Queen of England, the most beautiful, amazing woman in all of history had stood before for this portrait, had seen it with her own eyes and there I was, staring at the same portrait. It was spectacular, breathtaking!

The other Tudor portraits were also stunning. Catherine Parr, Katherine of Aragon, Henry VII, Elizabeth of York, Edward VI, Mary Tudor, Mary of Scotts – stunning! Seriously there is nothing like those portraits these days. Today people just smile, take a photo and delete it if they don’t like it. But back then it would have taken days, weeks even to create such a masterpiece. Breathtaking!!

I bought a little guide to the Tudor Portraits at The National Portrait Gallery, just a little something so I can always remember the beautiful portraits that I saw. I saw Anne Boleyn’s portrait!!

Note: 12C and sunny, although it was bloody cold!

How can I even begin to describe Windsor Castle? It’s just… breathtaking.. and HUGE! Oh gosh it is SOOO much bigger than I thought it was! I thought that it was just one castle with a chapel and some interesting rooms, but it is SO much more than that!

I caught the train to the castle and I have to admit that I was a little nervous. I had to catch one train from Paddington to Slough and then another from Slough to Windsor. I was nervous about the changeover but in the end I had no reason to be. I stepped off the first train walked about three feet and got onto the second train, simple as that!

You can see Windsor Castle from the train and immediately it takes your breath away! It’s just magnificent and so old! I did not realise that it was hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of years old! HUGE old towers and gateways and huge brick walkways – it’s just spectacular. I would say that only about a third of the entire castle is open to visitors – and even just to look around the third took me three hours!

First I went to St George’s Chapel – of course! Now if you want old style, majestic chapels then this is certainly the place to go. It’s over six hundred years old with high ceilings and the most intricately carved walls and decorations. I spent about an hour in the chapel just looking around, trying to see every small detail. It really blew me away, just the sheer awe of the place.

I did see Henry VIII grave and Jane Seymore’s grave (they’re buried in the same crypt under the main floor of the chapel). It was really quite chilling to be standing there, only a few feet above where the body of one of the cruellest and yet most interesting men in all of history lay. I don’t know how long I stood there, being so close to Henry VIII and his supposed one true wife. I did not show great respect and will admit that I walked OVER the huge slab – a sign of disrespect.

There are stained glass windows all around the Chapel and on one section there are the Tudors – Henry VIII, Edward his son, Katherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn. I was taken back by the beauty of the stained glass portraits, but what really blew me away was what the stained glass portrait of Anne was wearing. She was wearing a rich crimson dress with a gold quarter skirt and gold trimmings. It was the EXACT same dress that I wore for my Tudor photo shoot! Coincidence? I don’t know but it was bloody freaky! I had no idea about this stained glad portrait of Anne, and yet we wore the same clothes……

There was an interesting exhibition on display in the Drawing Room of the Castle to celebrate Henry VIII’s 500th anniversary of his accession to King. They had a huge display of portraits and drawings of Henry, his son and of his wives and family. There was a hand drawing portrait of Anne Boleyn. I just saw it and started to cry. It was very simple and yet she looked so beautiful. She had a thin top lip like I do and a thicket bottom lip just like myself. Her eyes were so beautiful……

It really sent chills down my spine to be able to see these portraits and miniatures that were nearly five hundred years old! It was also spectacular to see Henry when he was a young man right up to the year of his death. He was (I am quite sure) an extremely handsome man in his youth, but as he aged time was not good to him and he turned into a hideously fat old haggard man. Not nice at all.

I had a long walk around the state rooms, which are just HUGE and seem to go on forever! I think I probably walked around there for about an hour looking at all the portraits and intricate decorations. I would absolutely LOVE to live in some of those rooms! Having my tea in the Queen’s chamber, looking out across the beautiful gardens, the detailed furniture and spectacular walls and roof… now that WOULD be lavish! There was a stunning portrait of Queen Elisabeth I that she had painted of her for her father when she was thirteen. Gosh she looks like her mother! She certainly had Henry’s bright hair colour, but her eyes and facial structure was all Anne…. Simply beautiful!

I really loved the castle and would defiantly go again if I had a chance. It’s one of those places that I think every time you went you’d find something different and beautiful to explore. I’m so glad I went!

Note: 12C and cloudly. Heavy rain in the evening :(